I’m not entirely sure what the question is asking because it’s worded weirdly so this might be wrong. And also, it’s been a year since I read the book, but I’ll do my best. And I don’t know if you finished the book yet so if not, there’s a spoiler in here.
Ponyboy doubted Johnny would survive, but kept trying to tell himself that he would. When Johnny did die, Ponyboy blamed it on himself because he both got Johnny into this, and kept thinking that he wouldn’t survive
